I Jumped on the Bandwagon

Perfect.

2007-05-26T00:04:59Z

It was one of those perfect evenings. The humidity had died down, and the wind was blowing just enough to move hair. There was a smell of some sort of flowers in the air, probably a lilac. I was absolutely riveting. It reminded me so much of evenings in North Carolina like when I was growing up. Later in these days, the fireflies would come out, and we'd catch as many as we could and jar them up. It was like swimming in a fog of fireflies, there were always so many of them.
This is the kind of evening was nothing short of amazing. So peaceful, so serene, so perfect. One day, I hope to die on an evening like this one.

Pay You No Mind

2007-03-10T09:14:16Z

Gas prices are a scam.

Cell phones are a scam.

Religion is a scam. It's in fact the biggest scam that's ever existed ever. Come on - believe what I believe, do as I do, or I'll kill you? You'll believe what a dead guy wrote 2 thousand years ago, but you won't believe me? Living right in front of your very eyes?

Love is a scam.

Free PS3s are a scam.

Seedless watermelons are a scam - they've got seeds.

Myspace is a scam. It takes away from the time you could be spending doing worthwhile things...like knitting.

Political correctness is a scam.

Everything is a scam.

SO!?! So what? Scams are fun. Don't worry about being fooled. If you manage to logically wrangle around one scam and safely avoid it, another one will just sneak up right behind you. Don't worry. It'll be okay. I promise. (Trust is a scam.)

Act the fool. Don't be so self-concious. Get your crazy ass scammed. You don't want to be left out, do you? (Acceptance is a scam.)

Chuck Norris, however, is not a scam. He is the exception to the rule. Because he was in Sidekicks with Winnie Cooper. She's hot. (You better believe hot women are a scam.)

I love................sleep.

flanneljesus @ 2007-01-10T19:28:00

2007-01-11T00:28:39Z

Music is music. I can't help that. I've often been called a snob for my taste in music. I'm the guy that hates everything except what I listen to. That's not exactly true. Music is music. Music to me means something different than music to you. Just because I don't like a certain genre of music, I'm not saying that that genre is shit. It just means I don't like it. It's not my cup of tea. It doesn't get me off. Whatever...

All I'm saying is that you should like the kind of music you like and don't let anyone (even me) tell you otherwise. You obviously like it for a reason.

Also, let people share music with you. Let them give you mix cds and the like. You never know. You could end up being a huge Phantom Planet fan but hate the theme to the OC. You could end up rocking out to Asian Kung Fu Generation even though you have no idea what they're saying. You could really enjoy Mary Lou Lord even though you've never heard a lick about her before. Just keep your ears open.

And for the real snobs out there, fuck off. Crossfade is terrible and you know it, so stop shoving it down my throat.

flanneljesus @ 2006-09-27T01:42:00

2006-09-27T05:43:49Z

Taking my time, taking this drive, waving this town goodbye

small of your back, nape of your neck, I remember everything as I drive
waving this town goodbye

so long so long

taking my time, taking this drive, waving this town goodbye

I will leave under the cover
summer's kiss upon the sky

like the stone face of your lover
just before she says goodbye

I was certain that the season
could be held between my arms

just as summer's hold is fleeting
I was here, and now I'm gone

so long so long

Steriods & Baseball

2006-06-19T17:00:55Z

(This is not a defense for those that use performance enhancing drugs to become better athletes in baseball, even though it may sound like it.)

You hear the names: Barry Bonds, Jose Conseco, Mark Maguire, Jason Giambi, and Rafael Palmeiro. And lately you hear Jason Grimsley and David Segui. People will argue that these people used performance enhancing drugs to get their name in the record books, to become better players than all their peers. The argument is that using steriods is a travesty to the game because it destroys the spirit of the game. It's cheating, and cheating is bad.
While I will agree that cheating is wrong and you shouldn't need to cheat in professional sports to show that your man, the argument sounds awfully familiar. It's now that I'm brought to another controversial issue in Baseball: Instant Replay for umpires. The argument here is that (for the most part) fans don't want instant replay because without it, the game is more interesting and that's what makes baseball fun to watch. If Instant Replay was introduced into Baseball, the game would become more mechanical like Football. And though it would catch cheaters like Alex Rodriguez in the act and make the game more fair, Instant Replay would destroy the spirit of the game.
So now I'm brought to a crossroads: If I oppose Steriods, I should be in favor of Instant Replay? That's what it comes down to. Fans can't bitch and moan about one issue and ignore the other. How can someone be against cheating, but also be against a device that would stop cheating? And I'm sure my opposition would make the point that using Steriods and Instant Replay have nothing in common, so no basis for a camparison can be made. But they do have something in common. The excuse to ostrocise Steriod use is being used to deny Instant Replay.
I'm not saying I'm in favor of Steriod use. I'll agree that it's a horrible thing to need to cheat at sports. All I'm saying is that you can't be pissed off about Barry Bonds breaking Babe Ruth's all time home run record, and at the same time not be able to say "lets go to the tape." Steriods and no Instant Replay make the game interesting. That's all I'm saying.

-----------
btw, lay of Jason Grimsley. The guy got smacked in the face by a baseball. He wasn't supposed to be able to pitch again. The guy has to feed his family somehow.

Harvey, Grimsley collide under "royals notes."

flanneljesus @ 2006-06-18T22:50:00

2006-06-19T03:03:38Z

10 things Boston needs to do to win the Pennant.

1. Trade away Rudy Seanez.
2. Acquire a lefthander that's not Lenny DiNardo or Javier Lopez.
3. Give walking papers to David Wells and Matt Clement (although I do love Matt Clement, he just can't stay healthy).
4. Pick up starting pitching that doesn't suck. I'd suggest trading for Ervin Santana of LAA, or getting back Bronson Arroyo (it was such a big mistake to trade him away).
5. Make Tim Wakefield a God and have him pitch every game.
6. Punch out Gary Sheffield.
7. Hide Alex Rodriguez's and Jason Giami's juice (stomach virus my ass).
8. Only use Julian Tavarez in middle relief roles. He can't be a setup pitcher. He's just not that good.
9. Clone Melky Cabrera and put him on every team at every position (the guy can't even make routine fly outs for christ's sake).
10. And for everything else, bring Bo Jackson back to life and sign him as a manager. Bo knows what to do.

flanneljesus @ 2006-05-01T21:48:00

2006-05-02T01:48:26Z

happy birthday.

flanneljesus @ 2006-04-30T00:29:00

2006-04-30T04:31:22Z

I'm sorry you feel so terrible about your situation. I wish I could help, and you know that if you ever need it, I'm there for you. And if not, that's cool too.

flanneljesus @ 2006-04-18T18:46:00

2006-04-18T22:47:29Z

Red lights are flashing on the highway
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight
Everywhere the waters getting rough
Your best intentions may not be enough
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight

But if you brake down
I'll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I'll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don't come easy

I don't know nothing except change will come
Year after year what we do is undone
Time keeps moving from a crawl to a run
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home

You're out there walking down a highway
And all of the signs got blown away
Sometimes you wonder if you're walking in the wrong direction

But if you brake down
I'll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I'll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don't come easy

So many things that I had before
That don't matter to me now
Tonight I cry for the love that I've lost
And the love I've never found
When the last bird falls
And the last siren sounds
Someone will say what's been said before
Some love we were looking for

But if you brake down
I'll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I'll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don't come easy

hamburgers should be high...

2006-04-12T07:02:57Z

You're a boy who was a man who is a tree
Perfect hair forever

In life there are some times
Consequences to the actions a hero must face
To the end of the universe

Watch out for bears
to them you are spaghetti dinner

Perfect hair forever

Keep on fuckin' in Paris
Keep on fuckin' in Paris
Keep on fuckin' in Paris

Love love love, you're dead
But don't die

Go to the mountain where those people are
Perfect hair forever

Buy some things to bring them to the mountain
A mountain which does not exist
Fulfill your destiny
Do that thing to that guy

Play that trick on him
Pee pee in your coat
Old chinese joke
Perfect hair forever

Recording this today at 2:30
Time for dentist: 2:30

The lights went out
It might be 2:40

perfect hair foreve---

Dance
Dance
Dance all night
Get real funky
Funky hot
Hot all night
Hot all night
Night night night
Night all night
Night all dance
Dance dance
Dance!

flanneljesus @ 2006-03-16T02:38:00

2006-03-16T07:47:32Z

To the snotty girls that bug the sign-in guy:

Shut up! I'm just doing my job. Like I'm supposed to remember everyone that walks in and out that door. If I ask if you live in the building, don't get offended. You have no reason to. It just means that I don't know you, nor have I ever known you in any capacity, and that includes being a resident in the same dorm that I live in. So get your nose down from the high ledge of snot and be civil about things. Do you know how many people walk by me trying to get in without signing in? Did you know that I get personally repremanded if I let someone go by without having them sign in? Did you know that if someone who doesn't live in the building walks past me and causes trouble, I can and will get fired? You girls all give a big stink when a rapist gets into the building without any question by me, but then bitch me out when I ask you if you live in the goddamn dorm. How am I supposed to know that you're not a rapist? How am I supposed to know anything without asking a fucking question?

Shut the fuck up you stupid bitches. Get a life. Stop interferring with mine.

And no, I can't open the door for you. I'm not allowed. I can get fired for doing that, too.

flanneljesus @ 2006-02-21T06:51:00

2006-02-21T11:55:41Z

Well I lost an eye in Mexico
Lost two teeth where I don't know
People see me comin' and they move to the other side of the road.

I robbed a liquor store or two
Made myself at home a few times
Borrowed myself a car when I needed it.

I got me a shack at the bottom of the road
Fixin' cars and givin' tows
Spend all my money on the lottery.

When I win the lottery, gonna buy all girls on my block
A color TV and a bottle of French perfume

When I win the lottery, gonna donate half my money to the city
So they have to name a street or a school or a park after me

When I win the lottery

Never run a flag up a pole
Like Mr. Red, White, and Blue down the road
But I never called myself a hero for killing a known communist.

Now I can walk into any old bar
Find a fight without looking too hard
But I never killed someone I don't know just 'cause someone told me to.

And when I win the lottery, gonna buy the house next to
Mr. Red, White and Blue

And when I win the lottery, gonna buy Post 306 American Legion
Paint it red with five gold stars.

When I win the lottery.

When the end comes to this old world
The rats will cry and the rest will curl up
And God won't take the time to sort your ashes from mine.

'Cause we zig and zag between good and bad
Stumble and fall on right and wrong
'Cause the tumbling dice and the luck of the draw just leads us on.

And when I win the lottery, gonna buy all the girls on my block
Silver-plated six shooters and a quart of the finest highland scotch

'Cause when I win the lottery, the rocks will shake their heads and say
That God is good but surely works in mysterious ways.

When I win the lottery.

flanneljesus @ 2006-02-20T21:33:00

2006-02-21T03:03:04Z

If you think that my appologies mean nothing to me, fine. However, you are wrong. But that doesn't matter, does it? It doesn't matter what I think or feel. It just matters what you think and feel. You are the only one in this, aren't you? I appologized because I was a dick online. That is the honest truth. I, however, appologize for nothing else because I don't feel I did anything else wrong*. But that doesn't matter, does it? The context of the appology doesn't matter because you don't want to hear it. You're just going to take what you think is truth and force it to be truth**. And you're just wrong. When it concerns the context of my feelings, you're just wrong.

I'm not trying to reconcile because it'll make me feel better or it'll make me sleep better at night. I'm trying to reconcile because I don't want to loose you. This isn't something that's just "Let's make paul feel better before I go to sleep." This is "You were my friend and I miss you." But if you don't want to be my friend, then fine. If you don't want to be one of the most important people in my life, then fine.

You have no idea how I feel because you are not me, and you can't go about making assumptions on how I feel, or what my intentions are, or why I'm doing ANYTHING because you have absolutely no way of being right***. You can't say that what you think about me is gospel and go believing it because it's just wrong. It's just wrong. But again, that doesn't matter.

I'm not playing this game anymore. I'm not playing this drama anymore. I'm not gonna walk on eggshells around you because you say so. You got shit to say to me, you say it****. You don't want to be my friend, then fine. You've killed any feeling that I may have left for you, and that makes me sad.

And I am not sorry for anything that I say in this entry because it is all gospel.

---
(many hours later)
Listen. Whatever you think, whatever you feel...fine. Whatever this has to be is what it has to be. Just know (and this is the god honest truth) that I loved you very much. You were a wonderful friend and anyone would be lucky - nay, honored to at one point in time called you "friend." Take this however you want, but from the mouth of the person saying this, this is not an attempt at reconciliation, it's the truth. Do the things that you have to do, and when you're finished, if we're still friends, then so be it. If we're not, then I'm glad to have known you. And that's not an attempt at sarcasm or an attempt to get some percieved "upper hand." I just don't know how to say it better than that. It makes me happy to think that at one time you were one of the most important people in my life, and I'll take that idea and keep it. No matter what you say or what you do, that's how I'll remember you.

You meant something to me. How many people can say that about anyone?

I know you're going through some shit, and it pains me to think that not only am I not there to help you, but that you don't want my help. But if that's how it ends up being, that's how it ends up being. It goes how it goes. Take care, Sarah.

---------------------------------
*And if you feel I did anything else wrong to you, then you better tell me because as far as I know I did nothing wrong.

**Prove me wrong.

***Without confirmation from me.

****And not write a coy livejournal entry either. I stopped doing that - perhaps you should too.

flanneljesus @ 2006-02-15T17:03:00

2006-02-15T22:08:06Z

The writing on my arm says
Your feet are much smaller
Than mine

Come crash on my door
Come fall on my floor
It's never too much to help you up

I'd rather sit next to you
With nothing implied
Nothing on my mind but you

Covering peepholes
And chasing down long halls
How can you not be beautiful

It's enough for me
It's enough for me
You're all I'll ever need

flanneljesus @ 2006-02-14T18:46:00

2006-02-14T23:48:07Z

They sat together in the park
And as the evening sky grew dark,
She looked at him and he felt a spark tingle to his bones.
'Twas then he felt alone and wished that he'd gone straight
And watched out for a simple twist of fate.

They walked along by the old canal
A little confused, I remember well
And stopped into a strange hotel with a neon burnin' bright.
He felt the heat of the night hit him like a freight train
Moving with a simple twist of fate.

A saxophone someplace far off played
As she was walkin' on by the arcade.
As the light bust through a beat-up shade where he was wakin' up,
She dropped a coin into the cup of a blind man at the gate
And forgot about his simple twist of fate.

He woke up, the room was bare
He didn't see her anywhere.
He told himself he didn't care, pushed the window open wide,
Felt an emptiness inside to which he just could not relate
Brought on by a simple twist of fate.

He hears the ticking of the clocks
And walks along with a parrot that talks,
Hunts her down by the waterfront docks where the sailers all come in.
Maybe she'll pick him out again, how long must he wait
One more time for a simple twist of fate.

People tell me it's a sin
To know and feel too much within.
I still believe she was my twin, but I lost the ring.
She was born in spring, but I was born too late
Blame it on a simple twist of fate.

flanneljesus @ 2006-02-07T01:39:00

2006-02-07T07:24:02Z

I'm a Russian Jew American
Impersonating African Jamaican
What I want to be is an Indian
I'm gonna be a cowboy in the end, I guess
I bought a gun because it impresses
All the litle girls I see and then
They all wanna sleep with me

Oh where did we disappear
Into the silence that surrounds us
And then drowns us in the end

Where these people who impersonate our friends
Say come again, come again, come again

Into the dark Italian underground
With disco lights and disco sounds and
Skinny girls who drink champagne
Then they take me on their knees again,
And pull me up and out the door
Past railway cars and tranny-whores
And mornings spreading out across
The feathered thighs of angels

Oh were did we disappear
Into the silence that surrounds us
And then drowns us in the end

Will they try to get you out to pull you in
And all these people say come again, come again

In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue
In 1493 he came home across the deep blue sea
In 1494 he did it with the girl next door
In 1495 he barely made it out alive

In 1964 these sailors left me at the door
In 1970 some people got their hands on me
Now I am the king of everything
I am the king of nothing
Now I am the king of everything
I am the king of nothing

Oh where did we disappear
to the silence that surrounds us
And then drowns us in the end

Where these people who impersonate our friends
Say come again, come again, come again

Oh where did we disappear
To the silence that surrounds us
And then drowns us in the end

When they try to push you out to get you in
and all these people who impersonate our friends
Say come again, come again, come again, come again, come again

flanneljesus @ 2006-02-02T01:25:00

2006-02-02T01:30:02Z

Scheduling the schedule is a hard task, one filled with gooey caramel and a nugat center...

Mon
No class

Tues
10:00-12:00 - Radio Show
02:00-03:15 - Poe class
03:30-04:45 - Jazz History
05:15-06:30 - Computer Class

Wed
02:00-04:40 - Language of Film

Thurs
02:00-03:15 - Poe class
03:30-04:45 - Jazz History
05:15-06:30 - Computer Class

Fri, Sat, Sun
No Class

for the one that's never supposed to read my livejournal...

2006-01-14T19:28:31Z

The truth of the matter is that every time I talk to you, you severely depress me. So sue me for not wanting to be depressed all the time. It's okay while we're talking, but afterwards...you just depress me. And aside from the all-of-the-sudden interest in my life, you really haven't been around to depress me, and I really liked that. I liked not having you around to muck things up. And it just seems that every time I talk to you, my head turns to shit. It's not a very pleasant feeling, rest assured. Take comfort in the idea that you still matter enough for me not to want to have anything to do with you (and that isn't really all that true). I just don't think I could take it right now. I don't think I can handle you in my life right now. I don't think I could handle it, and then everything would just turn to shit. I love you, I hate you - what does it matter? It's all the same anyway, right?

I don't know if you'll read this. You read the other thing before from this journal against my wishes, so it should be logical to assume that you'd read this too against my wishes. This is a moment of genuine clarity that I haven't been able to voice for quite some time. I mostly just yelled for you to leave me alone. This is why. I probably won't be able to voice this again, so take it now or never bring it up again.

For the record, the fact that you have a new boy (for my understanding) is just a footnote in what is a relationship that went on way to long. I usually don't give him a third thought other than "That's such an awkward name."

Talk to you later Sabrina.

I hate my stepfather, do you?

2006-01-09T07:32:51Z

So my stepfather brought up two very interesting points as he was arguing with me about how much better a person he is than me:

"At least I pay rent, you don't do shit."

Oh yes! The mighty rent of attrition! Where you provide $300 to the household, turn around and take $500 from the family bank account and deposit it at the local liquor store. Wow, that's so much better than what I do, that whole "not stealing from the family to support my alcohol/drug habit" thing. Oh Joe, you're a saint.

"At least I don't beat children and break things," I say.
"Just like I pointed a gun in your face, right?" he retorts.

Well, Joe, I'm glad you managed to pick up that mighty flaw in my logic. You know, that whole "gun in the face" part having anything to do with beating children and breaking computers for a living. But no, for the sake of argument let us continue down your path. Let's bring up how my brothers and I got you put in jail for 3 days for sticking a gun in michael's face, and then you denying everything and the police believing you because you're older than us and letting you go. Let's bring that up. Because, your position is, of course, that it never happened and that us kids made it up because we hate you for no reason aside from the obvious sticking-a-gun-in-people's-faces reason and that whole I-beat-children argument. And please, allow me to retort.

"As if you could tell which way was up when your drunk, let alone whether you stuck a gun in anyone's face."

"I can tell what I'm doing when I'm drunk, and I can tell you for sure that I did not stick a gun in anyone's face," you would say (probably in not such a non-threatening way, but it's where you would go - that, or telling me to fuck off, but please, since I let you continue your line of arugment, let me continue mine).

Do you know what you've said to me when you are drunk? And not just on one occasion, but at least on three seperate occasions? You tell me I'm the best son you ever had, much better than Joey. You tell me how much you love me when your drunk. Do you remember any of this when you're sober? Hell no. When you're sober, I'm the demon spawn, the worst fucking kid in the world. So you tell me again that you can tell left from right when you're drunk. One more time, for old time's sake, tell me that you know you didn't stick a gun in Mike's face when you were drunk. Please. You've been beating that dead horse for the last 11 years (yes, since 1994).

You tell me I have to move on, I have to put everything behind me now that you smashed my mother's computer on the fireplae mantel. You tell me that I have to move on. Fuck you. I'll move on when you do.

I've forgiven you for many things in my life, and up until you destroyed my mother's computer, I was about to forgive you for everything. But not now. Now, I can't wait until you die. I'm planning your funeral party. I'm planning it little by little every day. I'm putting money away so that I may throw the biggest party when you die. I will be dancing an irish jig on your grave, Joe, fresh dirt or otherwise. It's going to happen. No one will stop me.

------------------------
By the way, while I'm here:

Sabrina, just leave me alone. I don't particularly have any reason to talk to you. And quite frankly, I'm very pissed off at you for calling me when I have a girlfriend, but not calling me when I don't, as if it was all of the sudden okay to talk to me now that I have a girlfriend. I don't have any particular desire to be your friend, and haven't for a long time. And personally, it's been a lot easier for me not having to talk to you. Please, just leave me alone.

------------------------
And on that note, yae for the Carolina Panthers DEMOLISHING the NY Giants 23-0. The last time a team was shut out at home in a playoff game was 1980, and it was Tampa Bay that was stopped by the LA Rams 9-0 in the NFC championship game. Go Panthers!

Is Johnny Damon A Douche?

2006-01-02T13:27:53Z

Some time ago, I commented on the amount of metaphoric Douche that Bill O'Riley actually contains within his body, and I wonder if it would be okay to use the phrase "Johnny Damon" in the same breath (oh wait...).

--
"There's no way I can go play for the Yankees, but I know they are going to come after me hard. It's definitely not the most important thing to go out there for the top dollar, which the Yankees are going to offer me. It's not what I need.

"I'd like to finish my career here [Boston]. I'm not sure they'll let me do it, if they offer me [only] two or three years [on a contract]. I want at least four or five.

-- Johnny Damon, 5/01/05, on MLB.com

After spitting on Boston's 10 million/4 year deal, Damon goes the "shave and a haircut" route with the Evil Empire for... a 13 million/4 year deal. His reasoning: He was "looking for a 7 year contract." Scott Boras, I hope you die. Johnny Damon, you are officially a douche. You are the king of douches, El Douché.

Needless to say, I was not pleased.

Although, my brother posed an interesting scenario: Perhaps Johnny Damon just signed with the Yankees with the intent of purposely performing bad for the sake of Boston, a sabotage of the Evil Empire from within. Though unlikely, I have resigned myself to saying that this can be the only scenario in which Johnny Damon would no longer be a douche, and in fact would become a saint. However, very far-fetched.

------
To give this post actual meaning where only an absence of such exists, I must add some quotes:

"You bet your sweet ass-per-cream!" - Aspercream Commercial

"Say Smith, do you perchance have any gatorade? I seem to have left all my electrolytes with your daughter." - Bollock (I mean Patrick Stewart)

Orange!

2005-12-26T14:36:00Z

Day 1

The four hour bus ride was fun, not. 3 layovers and 4 buses later (one dirty as fuck), I was at the CT post Mall waiting for the woman. We went shopping and shit and killed the dollar store. Found this cd called "You've Got Femail" that I was hoping was punk covers of pop songs, but it wasn't (damn). It was one of those CDs that came out in the late 90s where artists that sound exactly like other artists get together and record the same songs exactly as they recorded them so that people and places would buy those cds at a cheaper price rather than buying the original shit from the original artist. Needless to say, that didn't work. Oh well, I'm only out a dollar.

Then we got some food at the food court while waiting for the Macdonalds to change from breakfast to lunch (I've never seen 5 minutes take sooooo long). And we shopped and shopped and shopped some more. We headed over to AC Moore and then to Ocean State (where I took a nap cuz I was fuckin tired and didn't want to be shopping). Then we went back to her house (finally) and met her family. Gotta love rabid Boston/WWE fans. We went food shopping and picked up some alcohol that never got drunken (me so pissed). Then we came back home and had some of the best meatloaf I ever had.

Then we got lost going to this guy name Steve's house, about 45 minutes lost. It only takes 15 to get there. Yeah, we suck. We finally got there where he and Mira were to be met by myself. We sat and talked and watched empire records (which I slept through yet again, so fucking tired, did I mention). We made the tired ride home and conked out in front of the TV.

Day 2

Yet again more shopping was had. At one point, we made it to ARBY's!!! (you know, one of the 2 in CT), their portions have gotten way too small. Then more shopping, so much I just can't remember. We went to AC Moore again and some dollar stores and shit and found some lime green hangers that I had to have. Way too much.

Then we found SARAH and RICK!!! and went out for a double date and played some wicked pool. We went over to Sarah's place afterwards and played one game of Mao, but we soon had to leave to get a new hair dryer. Unfortunately, Sarah has no sense of direction, so we got lost again and found walmart after they had closed. Well she found it, I was sleeping because remember, too fucking tired.

And we made it back home and conked out in front of the TV again...

Day 3

Sarah had to work, so she took me over to Sarah's (as a suprise) and I hung with Sarah until 4. We watched one hour of pulp fiction before she decided she hated it (bitch, give it a chance), then went over to the Llama farm and I watched her have fun with the llamas (because I don't do the whole "animals bigger than me" thing, that's just the way it is). Then we went back to her place and played the shit out of the nintendo and decided that we were both equally skilled at Mario 3 because we ruled the shit out of that game.

Then we said goodbyes so I could go and wait 15 minutes for Sarah because she takes so fucking long to do all the shit she needs to do to get out of work. We hung out at home for 5 minutes, unwrapped some awesome presents, and took me home in half an hour. We said our goodbyes and kissed a shitload, and she drove her car home.

----------
So now that the last 3 days were awesome, the next 3 days should suck, right?

itinerary

25 - Xmas <- done!
26 - Gmas, shopping, and Dad
27-29 - Dad and NJ
30 - Leave me alone, I want to sleep.
31 - Gmas bday
1 - Doing nothing for New Years (that I know of).

And then just sitting around until I make my way to Orange again (yae for 4 hour bus rides...)

almost new years resolutions

2005-12-21T06:24:03Z

Okay, so to some I've been quite a dick and this time away from the horrid drama that exists at school has given me a chance to think a bit before I put all that happened behind me for the rest of the winter break. Let's get to the resolving...

K - I guess some lines got caught in other lines and other words were emphasized when they weren't supposed to be. I apologize and I really would like us to be friends, good friends. I guess it's something we have to work on.

R - I don't want to play anymore song and dances. I still don't apologize because I don't feel that I should have to. Don't take it personal (although you probably will), but I just don't feel in the wrong on this.

S - I miss you way too much and ever treating you shitty is wrong. We have to make more time. I want to make more time. You better give a call.

J - Love you lots and can't wait to see you when you come home tomorrow.

E - You win. You don't know what you've won, but you win it with flying colors. Congrats.

K - Nothing really. Love your honesty. True blue.

S - What'd I do? Ah well, I'll still treat you like a person. Didn't mean to use your phone too much. Sorry. I really thought it was okay.

S - When are you gonna wash my comforter. No, raspberry blankets do not smell nice...
You Send me...

--------------------
That's all I got for now. Will update as needed.

flanneljesus @ 2005-12-16T19:04:00

2005-12-16T19:33:38Z

Okay, I don't really like to mention people's names, but I will today.

Kelly-
Okay. It goes how it goes, then.

Rose-
You make life so hard, and if you say one more time that you didn't mean to or it wasn't your intent, I'm going to stab you. Just because you don't mean to doesn't mean you're not doing it, and the fact that you don't know makes it worse because you apparently don't know what you're doing, and therefore would not know how to stop doing what you're doing.

You make it very easy for me not to want to be your friend. You do things and say things that would make anyone not want to be your friend. I will not elaborate and neither should you. You should just know that you make things very hard for me to care.

I was very mean to you last night. I do not apologize, at least not at this point. I have had so many "talks" with you about the smallest things that are completely unimportant that I can longer invest any type of sympathy to be able to apologize to you. Any apology would be a lie, and I don't lie to people.

I was very mean because I really didn't want to have to deal with anymore of your shit, and was very pissed off that I had to take time away from spending with my Sarahs to have this piece of shit talk that accomplished nothing. Damn right I was pissed. And I tried very hard not to yell at you. I tried very hard not to be mad at you.

I will address some topics now. You may not under any circumstances rebute them. You had your chance to rebute last night, and you forfeited that chance last night.

PDA - There is only one aspect of this issue I wish to address. You lied to me. You lied to me when you told me you had talked about the issue only ONCE and only with SARAH when in fact you talked to everyone under the sun, including (but not limited to) Sarah multiple times, Sarah, Eric, Kate, Kelly, etc etc etc (and if you feel that you can possibly refute this, I have proof, verifiable proof, for my position, but you are not allowed to refute it, so oh well). And the fact that you don't value me enough to be able to lie right to my face about something so small is just one issue that makes it very easy for me not to want to care about you. I can't believe you would devalue me in such a way to lie to my face. Thank you. (And for you to believe that Sarah and Sarah would never ever talk to me about anything important is illogical. Don't get mad at Sarah. Get mad at yourself because you're the one with the problems.)

5 year old -
1) stop acting like one. I can not possibly tell you how you act like a five year old because you believe the actions that make you seem as a five year old are not the actions that make you seem like a five year old, and when I tell you these actions, you do not understand and get mad at me for calling you a five year old. You must learn yourself, and I will not coddle you in such matters. We are adults here, start acting like one.

2) The fact that you believe that you can not come to us with your problems because we will treat you as a five year old is ludicrous. We are your friends and will treat you as a friend. Unfortunately, you must stop acting like a five year old and trust us with your problems instead of yelling at us.

----------
Perhaps other issues may arise that I wish to address. Please do not respond to this, Rose.

flanneljesus @ 2005-12-15T00:14:00

2005-12-15T05:28:00Z

"You know what? I'm a big girl and I'm choosing to give you time to get to know my roommate like you want to. I feel uncomfortable around Beecher lately so I don't come over. We'll just be friends in social settings and I never said that you said that you hated me. I said what you said to me and by the time what I said got back to you it had been [misconstrued]. So if at the end of the day you want to write me off go right ahead and do that cause I don't really care anymore. I'm not wasting anymore of my time and energy worrying about whats been going on because its [fucking] stupid bullshit that I'm sick of. I have other friends and I've been choosing to spend time with them because I'm a big girl who is allowed to make her [decisions]. I'm just doing what you asked of me and staying out of your shit."

"Well now allow me to retort."

Thank you for the response. Unfortunately, I can not respond to your post as adequately as I'd hoped.

If you want to "fight this battle of who could care less, then fine. I conceed. You win. I don't want to [fight]. I never wanted to [fight]."

Therefore, because your responses led to this very battle, then I will keep my promise and conceed the argument to you.

I will, however, offer some friendly advice with common misunderstandings:

"Staying out of your shit" ≠ "don't try being close friends."

----------------
C'est la vie.

flanneljesus @ 2005-12-13T01:31:00

2005-12-13T07:08:47Z

I would like to take this time to set any record straight regarding a certain apparent non-friend (not by my choice, by the way).

You should believe the words I used when we had our talk because when I say something I don't have a hidden meaning or agenda behind my words. I said the following:

"The way things worked out, we are not friends outside of social settings."

"I would like us to become close friends, one-on-one friends."

"Please call me or knock me up if you ever need to talk."

Apparently, all this translates into "I hate you and I don't want to ever be your friend" or "I'd rather be friends with anyone else but you" or "I choose someone else's company over your exclusive company." All of these ASSUMPTIONS are wrong. Please don't assume the meanings behind my words. As I've said before, I have no hidden meaning or agenda behind my words.

So allow me to bottom line it:

I want to be your friend. It's actually something that is rather important to me (at least important enough to acknowledge in my livejournal).

However, if you'd like to believe that I don't want to ever be your friend and believe whatever the voices in your head tell you and continue to fight this battle of who could care less, then fine. I conceed. You win. I don't want to do that. I never wanted to do that. If you're going to be the five year old now, then I'm going to treat you like the five year old. I will smile and say nice things and do the pretend thing that you'd like, and write you off at the end of the day.

If you want to be a close friend, if you want to be my close friend, you know where I live. Otherwise, hello, how's it goin'?

-----------------------
Battle of Who Could Care Less - Ben Folds Five

Do you not hear me anymore
I know it's not your thing to care
I know it's cool to be so bored
It sucks me in when you're aloof
It sucks me in, it sucks, it works
I guess it's cool to be alone

Will you never rest
fighting the battle of who could care less
Every day you wake up late
Sometimes I wish I was that way

And you think the Rockford Files is cool
But there are some things
that you would change
if it were up to you
so think about your masterpiece
watch the Rockford Files and
call to see if Paul can score some weed

Do you never rest
fighting the battle
of who could care less
unearned unhappiness
that's alright I guess

I've got this great idea
why don't we pitch it to the
Franklin fucking Mint
Fine pewter portraits of
General Apathy and Major Boredom singing
Whatever and ever amen.

Oh well, maybe not
I'll try again
this should cheer you up for sure
see I've got your old I.D.
and you're all dressed up like the Cure

Will you never rest
fighting the battle
of who could care less
unearned unhappiness
you're my hero I confess